Survival
by Abarai Starsha
Summary: Happy Holloween!  Rukia wakes up alone and tied to a bed with no memory of how she got there.  With no one to rely on but herself, she must use everything she's ever been taught to survive.  AU, OOC, Rated M for mature content.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Happy Holloween everyone! (pun intended)**

**Short chapters, I know. I reworked the story a bit, goes better with the new plot. Horror, rape, etc… I won't get too explicit; I like to leave a bit up to your imagination. **

**I don't own Bleach…**

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><p>Survival<p>

By: Abarai Starsha

When Rukia woke up her head was pounding and her body ached. The last thing she remembered was getting handed a drink by…who? Stupid post war celebration, she thought. She yawned and stretched but found her movement restricted. She went to rub her eyes and found she couldn't. She opened them and let out a gasp in horror. She was lying sprawled out and tied to the bed, a reiatsu suppression collar around her throat.

Bed? Who has a bed in Soul Society?

She tugged at her restraints. She was tied up tightly; one wrist, one ankle to each corner of the bed. It was a simple twin four poster bed; oak in color. The canopy was missing. The sheets, once white, were now dusty and stained with god knew what. Her head was propped up by an equally dirty pillow. Someone's drool stained the fabric, turning it yellow in places, long ago.

The room was small and very basic. Two small dusty oak night stands flanked her sides; each having a small white lamp. Dirt and cobwebs covered both indicating they have not been turned on or touched in long time.

There was a window in the middle of the wall to her left. Heavy violet curtains hung, blocking any view to or from the outside. She could tell it was daylight, but nothing else. The wall in front of her had a door on each end, both were closed. A small wall table sat in the middle between them. There was a glass of ice water sitting on the table. Condensation had already built up around it. The wall to her right had a door on the far end. It was slightly open. She could make out a green tile floor, but nothing else. A bathroom maybe? A large oak bookshelf lined the wall. Dirt, dust and cobwebs that even the spiders abandoned adorned the empty shelves.

There was another window, above the nightstand to her right. It also had violet curtains that went all the way to the wood floor.

Everything looked old and undisturbed. Like your great grandmother's attic that no one has stepped foot in for centuries.

Panic started to kick in. Who brought her here? Where was here? Who tied her up? Why was she in a gigai? This had to be a joke, a very cruel and humiliating joke. She wracked her brain but couldn't think of anyone who would do such a thing. Because she was in a gigai, Urahara came to mind. She shuddered, it couldn't have been. Ichigo had made him apologize to her for everything he's done to her. He had sworn never to hurt her again. No. It wasn't anyone she knew.

Ichigo…

"H-hello?" She croaked. Waking up with dry mouth sucked. Waking up tied to a bed with dry mouth sucked. She licked her dry lips with her dry tongue and tried again, "Hello?"

Silence.

The house seemed deserted. She took small comfort that at least she was clothed. Who ever took her didn't _take_ her…at least not yet. She shoved the thought aside. But who would go through the trouble of putting her in a gigai? What for? She was becoming more awake and definitely sober. "HELLO?" she screamed…and waited…Nothing. Who the hell would just leave her like this?

The minutes ticked by like hours. She was thirsty, hungry and really had to pee. The irony was the glass of water sitting directly across from her. She refused to look at it. She kept telling herself over and over that someone was going to come in at any moment.

Any minute…

Tick

Tick

Tick

Tick

"_What if no one comes, what if no one ever comes, what if I'm stuck here forever? I can't stay here forever. I really have to pee. Look at the trouble you've gotten yourself into now, Rukia. Stupid fool. Why didn't I just leave?"_ She shoved her thoughts to the back of her brain.

Rukia pulled on her restraints until they cut into her skin. Shocked at the biting pain, she stopped pulling. She craned her head around so she could take a closer look at her restraints. First glance it was everyday rope. She caught a glimmer of silver and looked again. She gasped slightly as she realized the rope was entwined with very strong, very thin wire. Her wrists would be in shreds by the time she pulled through; if she could pull it through.

She closed her eyes and tried to think about it logically. As much as she didn't want to, she focused on the previous night's celebrations.

* * *

><p><em>The usual drunks were eager to celebrate. Yamamoto-Soutaicho had given the approval for the all day celebration himself. The war was over, Aizen was restrained. Sure, there was still clean up and other loose ends to tie up, but for once, the duty bound man decided that tomorrow was another day. He was proud of everyone, including the humans.<em>

_Matsumoto took it upon herself to arrange and lead the festivities. The great hall in the first division was cleared, bars and tables were set up and the sake started to flow. Everyone was there. Everyone was drunk or near to it except for a small handful. _

"_To Kurosaki!" Renji said as he raised his saucer. Everyone followed suit. _

_The day turned to evening and Rukia had had a few drinks herself. Enough to where she was feeling more confident then she should have. She was going to do it. She was going to tell Ichigo how she felt, what he meant to her._

_She saw the orange head a few minutes before as he went outside to get some air. Rukia put her drink down and followed. She told herself she was crazy, she told herself that it wasn't right. She then told herself that it was now or never. _

_She rounded the corner and stopped dead in her tracks. Ichigo was there with Inoue in his arms. Rukia dared not breathe. Maybe Inoue didn't feel good; the sake was a bit strong for the girl. Maybe she tripped, she was a bit clumsy. Maybe – _

"_I'm glad you shared your feelings with me, Inoue."_

_Maybe she was too late._

"_Because I've wanted to tell you…I love you too."_

_Rukia threw up. The couple turned to her as she backed up away from them._

"_Rukia! Are you alright?"_

"_Uh…yeah! I…uh…just had a bit much, I guess…" She said as she continued to back up. She couldn't look at them without her stomach lurching. She turned and went back inside._

_She buried her pain with a drink, then another and another. Then someone handed her a saucer… Everything went dark._

* * *

><p>Rukia choked back a sob. She knew she shouldn't have expected anything. She knew she was on dangerous waters just by liking him. She was drowning when she realized it was more than that. She had loved him.<p>

Fool.

The hand that held the saucer was all she remembered. An ordinary hand. Not too big, not too small. Average.

Rukia frowned. This was getting her nowhere.

As the day turned into evening Rukia became uneasy in the knowledge that no one was coming for her. She really really really had to pee. The fact that she held it all day was a miracle. She cursed the gigai she was in. Her bladder was throbbing, her hands were numb, her arms ached and she was thirsty. She looked at the dresser.

A small drop of water made its way down a winding path on the side of the glass, meeting up with other small droplets of water before continuing the journey to the bottom. There, it met all of the other drops that had made similar journeys and formed a pool at the bottom.

She licked her dry lips and turned away.

The meager light that filtered in through the curtains was rapidly fading. It would be dark soon. Maybe who ever tied her up would return. The thought made her heart beat faster as a shiver ran down her spine.

She took a deep breath and sighed.

Who or why could wait, she decided. The now was what was important and the now dictated to her that she had to find a way out. She looked around the room again. There was nothing that could help her. Not that she could reach it anyway. She pulled up her legs until she felt the same biting pain. Wire down there too. Damn.

Tick

Tick

Tick

Tick

The room was dark. The curtains were thick enough to block out any moonlight. She listened for something, anything. Not even a cricket made a sound.

She had no idea what time it was, only that it was dark. If she could put her hand in front of her face, she doubted she could see it.

As the minutes ticked by, she grew tired. Her arms were numb, her joints stiff. She closed her eyes.

* * *

><p><em>Scratch, scratch, screeeeeeeeee<em>

Rukia's eyes shot open. It was still pitch black in the room.

_Scratch, scratch, screeeeeeeeee_

Her breath sped up along with her heart. She pulled on her restraints again, harder this time but stopped as the wire dug into her skin.

"Shit!"

_Scratch, scratch, screeeeeeeeee_

She twisted her arm around, turning her wrist and tugged again.

_Scratch, scratch, screeeeeeeeee_

She folded her fingers inward, trying to turn her hand into a cylindrical shape to hopefully slip out of the rope. She pulled and twisted…and screamed out as the wire bit into her flesh.

_Scratch, scratch, screeeeeeeeee_

Rukia stopped moving. The noise was louder. She didn't know if she wanted to know what was making that sound. It could be someone or something to save her, or it could be someone or something that brought her here.

_Scratch, scratch, screeeeeeeeee_

The sound was getting louder, closer.

_Scratch, scratch, plop._

Rukia held her breath. It was right outside the door. The only sound was her heart pounding as the blood rushed through her ears.

Silence.

She waited. One minute, two minutes.

Nothing.

She gathered her courage, "H-h-hello?" She wanted it to come out strong, but sounded more like a squeak.

"Hello?" She called out again.

Silence.

It was several hours later, when the meager light appeared again behind the curtains, that Rukia finally calmed down. Exhausted, and feeling a bit safer in the light, she closed her eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: In case you're coming to this late, Survival was originally a dream I had. I wrote it as a short and posted 2 parts. I took them down, reworked it a bit, added a plot and am reposting as a Holloween (I love that) special. My other stories will resume after Halloween…**

**Thank you everyone who has reviewed! I am honored!**

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><p>Chapter 2<p>

Rukia opened her eyes. The room was bathed in muted light. Her arms were numb, her back and legs were stiff. She shifted to try to get the blood flowing to her hands. It hurt. Her bladder was on fire.

"Hello!" She yelled out. "Please, anyone?"

Only silence answered her.

She looked at the window. It was maybe early afternoon? She had lost track of time and with the heavy curtains, it was hard to judge where the sun was or how bright it truly was outside.

She sighed as she decided she couldn't ignore her predicament any longer.

If this was a joke, she would have been let in on it by now.

If this was a kidnapping, someone would have shown up by now.

She wasn't sure what it was anymore but knew in her heart, no one was coming.

She squeezed her eyes shut at the indignity and relieved her aching bladder. A tear formed at the corner of her eye as she felt the warmth spread beneath her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as the tear fell. "I'm sorry for being such a disgrace."

Her thoughts returned to that moment when she left the academy to live with her brother; when Renji abandoned her.

"_I can't believe he's bringing in another…"_

"_THAT'S her?"_

"_This house will fall to shame for sure."_

"_Are we a charity now?"_

"_Useless little thing."_

"_Street rats belong in the street to be exterminated by their own kind."_

"_She'll never amount to anything."_

"_The only reason she's here is because…"_

The voices were never ending. Worthless, she was worthless. How she had wanted to prove them all wrong. How she had wanted nothing more than to have her brother be proud of her. But then… then that night with Kaien-dono…

He had died by her blade.

"It should have been me," she whispered to the empty room.

_Don't give up, Rukia…_

She heard the small quiet voice in her head. She pushed all thoughts to the back of her mind and concentrated. She looked at her left hand as she curled it around to as tight as she could get it.

No one was coming.

She was left alone to die.

She promised Kaien-dono she wouldn't die alone.

If nothing else, she would escape and honor his last wish.

She twisted and pulled. She stopped as the wire bit into her flesh.

"Kuso!"

She threw her body to the right to give more leverage. She cried out in pain as she kept pulling. Panting, she stopped. She watched as the rope turned crimson and blood dripped down her arm. She looked at her bloody wrist.

Blood was slick…

Like lubricant…

She twisted her wrist around, coating her entire hand and wrist in blood. She pulled again. It slid a bit before digging into her palm, at the very base of her thumb.

"No!"

She was bleeding too much to stop now. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before putting her all into it. It was now live or die and she wasn't about to die here. She threw her body to the right again and pulled with all her might. The rope and wire bit into her skin, tearing it. If she could just get it over the base of her thumb she would be home free.

She screamed as the skin was torn to shreds as it went over the hump and slipped out. The skin on her hand looked like a glove being removed. Blood was pouring out of her mutilated hand everywhere. She already felt light headed and knew she didn't have long before she passed out.

She pulled her weight to the right, giving her right arm as much slack as possible. She looked at the ropes. The knot was behind the bed post. There was no way for her to untie it with her mangled hand. If her feet were free she could have used her teeth. She was spread too far out.

What to do?

Rukia placed her left wrist over her right hand and let the blood drip on and around the ropes. She waited until it was soaked through and pulled. The rope loosened a bit, but the wire did not. She couldn't afford two mangled limbs. She wedged her pinky finger of her left hand up against the heel of her right hand and pulled again.

Tears sprang to her eyes as she cried out in pain as her hand slipped through. She sat up and scooted her butt down to the end of the bed. With her teeth and her right hand, she was able to free her ankles without any damage.

As she rubbed her legs to get the feeling back in them, she eyed the open door. From the edge of the bed she could make out that it was a bathroom. Slowly and carefully, she stood up and made her way there. She braced herself against the wall as the room started to spin. She had lost a lot of blood already and didn't have much time before she passed out.

She flipped the switch on the wall, nothing happened. Rukia quickly scanned the small room hoping to find something to use on her mangled hand and bleeding wrists.

She looked under the sink and found a small, dirty white towel. Frowning, she picked it up and tried to shake out the dust. It was thin from many years of use and tore easily. Rukia tore several strips and wrapped her hand as best as she could. There were just enough strips to wrap her left hand and wrist. She applied as much pressure to the site as she could.

Rukia stopped and held her breath. She could hear a howl in the distance.

Working quickly, she tied off the end of the last strip and stumbled back into the bedroom. She took a deep breath as she held onto the door knob with her right hand. This was the door she heard the strange noises from the night before.

Carefully she opened the door.

Her eyes grew as her jaw dropped.

"R-Ren-ji…" She managed to whisper. He was lying face down in a large pool of blood. His left hand stretched out in front of him, his right just behind him. Zabimaru was tied to his hip. His Shinigami uniform was dirty and torn. Rukia looked further and gasped. His legs were missing. Tears sprang to her eyes as she bent down over him. Her right hand hovered above his shoulder.

She didn't want to, but she had to be sure. She closed her eyes and touched his shoulder. She almost recoiled in shock at how _dead_ he felt. She pushed and rolled him over. She opened her eyes and screamed.

She threw her hand out and backed away, heading left out of her room down the hallway. She tried to look away, but couldn't. Renji's cold, lifeless eyes were staring at her. Rukia cringed as she saw the thread holding his mouth closed.

"No!" she whispered. How? Who? This wasn't a joke. This wasn't a joke. The last shred of hope she had shattered in an instant. Renji was dead. The room started to spin more violently as her stomach knotted up. She had to get out.

Rukia turned and ran down the hallway. She turned to the right at the end and went through an old make shift kitchen. Any appliance had long since been removed, but the dirt told a short tale of where they once stood. Rukia opened the door on the other side of the room and was shocked to find it led outside.

She shielded her eyes from the assault of the afternoon sun on her face. As her eyes became accustomed to the light she saw the tiny house was surrounded by woods. There was not another soul around.

Right there on the door step, Rukia passed out.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Short chapters, I know :P I was really pushing to get through this story by tonight… Sorry that didn't happen…**

**Happy Halloween, Everyone!**

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><p>Chapter 3<p>

When Rukia regained consciousness, she was still on the back porch. The woods still surrounded her. She still had not a clue as to where she was. Her body ached and her left arm was numb; which was better than it being painful.

She got herself into a sitting position and waited for the world to stop spinning. She had lost too much blood as she looked at the slick pool she was sitting in. The make shift towel wrap had come undone. It was thoroughly soaked and useless. S

She looked at her mutilated hand. The skin was torn almost all the way around her wrist and had slid forward like someone was taking off their glove. She pushed the skin back from where it was trying to curl up under the bones by the base of her thumb and shuddered.

She had to wrap it up before she finished bleeding out. Not wanting to take the chance in standing for fear of losing her balance and knocking herself out again, she crawled on three limbs back into the house. It being dark, she couldn't see much of anything. She felt her way back to the bedroom from hell and pulled on the sheet covering the bed. With her right hand and her teeth, she tore the sheet into strips and carefully wrapped her left hand.

The numbness was wearing off and the pain was returning full force. She made her way to the night stand and grabbed the glass of water sitting on it. She drained it in only a few gulps. She banged her left hand against the night stand as she tried to get back to a sitting position.

Rukia fought the urge to pass out from the stars and swirly things she was seeing.

"Fuck!"

And that's when she heard it. It sounded like it was right outside the house, ready to jump through the window and pounce on her. A low hollow's growl.

Rukia frantically and as quietly as she could, searched the room for her Zanpaktou or any other kind of weapon she could use. The search in the dark turned up nothing useful.

She was a sitting duck, trapped in the house. She had to get out. She had a better chance of getting away from the hollow if she were outside. There was a bit of moonlight so at least she would be able to see more out there than in here.

She snapped her head up.

Renji.

She didn't feel him when she came back into the room. Quickly, she made her way to the hallway and felt around. He was gone. Not even a trace of the pool of blood remained.

What the hell?

The growling was getting closer. Rukia closed her eyes and crawled back to the front of the house. She didn't have time to contemplate what was going on. Fighting the dizziness, she pulled herself to her feet. She made her way to the front door way and took a peek outside. The bedroom was at the back of the house along with the growling. All she had to do was take off through the door, through the woods to…where? She still didn't know where she was or even where to go.

The growling grew louder. It was either out there in the unknown or in the house trapped.

Rukia took off. She tried to maintain her balance as she ran. The bouncing jarred her arm which made the pain only intensify.

The hollow sensed her leave the house and followed, tracking her like a dog.

Rukia felt it following her and ignored the pain and tried to run faster. She tripped over a covered branch and went flying over it. She crashed into the ground, onto her wrist. She felt the warmth as more blood oozed out through the sheet bandage.

She tried to stand back up only to find she had twisted her ankle.

"No!"

She pulled herself towards the closest tree and propped herself up. She clawed at the collar with her right hand and managed to get it off. She held her breath and channeled her reiatsu. She had one defense left, kido. With her shredded hand it was going to hurt like hell, but considering the alternative was being eaten by the hollow, she would risk it.

She waited as she heard it make its way towards her. Catching a glimpse through the trees, she could make out that it was on four legs and had a huge snout, like a dog. The rest somewhat resembled a human form. Twisted and deformed and now heading straight for her.

Rukia chanted and brought her good arm up, palm flat.

"Hado San ju san, Sokatsui!"

A huge bolt of blue electricity flew straight for the hollow's mask and blew it to pieces. She smelled burned flesh and mildly wondered if it was from the hollow or her own hands. As the hollow dissolved in front of her, she slumped to the side as the pain and darkness overwhelmed her.

* * *

><p>Rukia opened her eyes and had to blink several times. Her breathing stopped as panic took over.<p>

Someone brought her back from outside. Someone took care of her as there were proper bandages on her wrists and ankle. Someone also chained her good ankle to the bed.

Her other limbs free, she sat up. Instinctively, she touched her neck and was dismayed that the reiatsu collar was back in place. She tugged at it with her good hand, but it would not come off.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Kuchiki."

Rukia's eyes widened and turned towards the door. A voice, male was on the other side.

Swallowing the panic that threatened to consume her, she opened her mouth. "I demand you release me!"

"Hmph, I don't think you're in any position to give orders. Do you?" Came the reply. His voice was deep and smooth. One she had never heard before.

"What do you want?"

Silence.

"My brother is – "

"Kuchiki Byakuya, taicho of squad six in the Thirteen Court Guards," he replied.

Rukia gasped.

"I know who you are. I know who your friends are. I know everything about you, where you came from, who you've killed, who you've…loved."

Rukia thought of Ichigo and Inoue at the party and closed her eyes.

"Did you…did you k-kill R-Renji?"

Silence.

"What do you want?"

More silence.

"Let me go!"

"I saved you from that hollow and take care of you and you're still rude enough to try to give me orders?"

"Please…" Rukia said.

"What do I want with you?" He replied. "I want everything from you. You owe it to me, after all. You did kill my brother."

The door handle turned.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Bah! Real life keeps getting in the way… Sorry guys. I hope you all had a wonderful Halloween! My apologies if the last chapter seemed a bit rushed. I really was trying to get this whole story out for you by the 31****st****. Life had other thoughts on that though…**

**No worries, I am still going to finish this story. My OCD wouldn't have it any other way. **

**Good try on the Ganju guesses... I suppose I could have gone that route, but he doesn't quite fit for what I had in mind... :P  
><strong>

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><p>Chapter 4<p>

The doorknob turned and Rukia held her breath. It opened, revealing a tall man with shoulder length raven hair parted on the left side. His face was strong, handsome. He was muscular, but not overly so.

Rukia gasped.

He wore a white uniform with black trim. Bone covered the left side of his neck, up to his ear and down half his jaw line underneath. There was a hole in his chest, where his heart should be.

"E-Espada!" She breathed. "H-how?"

The man took two steps in and stopped. He looked her over and smiled. It did not reach his bright blue eyes.

"How? Like everyone else and not…" He replied. He reached out and touched Rukia's ankle. She recoiled at his touch and tried to move her foot. It went a short distance before the metal clanked against the bed, restricting further movement.

"We checked Los Noches! We cleared out all of Aizen's creations!"

"Did you now?" He replied. He took another step, his smile never leaving his face. "I seem to be at an unfair advantage considering I know all about you, yet, you know nothing about me." He stretched out his hand, "Castigador Zankokuna. Quite a…mouthful, ne?" he asked as his eyes flashed across her body as his tongue slowly licked his lips. "You can call me Zanko."

Rukia's eyes widened as her heartbeat quickened.

"I'm guessing you know the meaning of my name?" He asked as he put his knee on the bed. Rukia shrank back against the mattress, trying to find a way to be absorbed by it. "I suppose meeting someone with the name "cruel punisher" would be a bit intimidating…" He leaned over and placed his hand the side of her face.

In a flash, she remembered.

_Her stomach still felt queasy. Ichigo and Inoue, she was such a fool. A stupid, stupid fool. Rukia made her way back to the bar and sat down. She held her face in her hand and tried to hold back the sob that was threatening to spill over._

"_I thought this was a night for celebration. Drink this and I will make it all disappear."_

_Rukia found herself looking into the clearest, deepest set of blue eyes she had ever seen. It didn't take long, considering her state, to get lost in them. She deftly took the saucer he offered and drank._

"You! It was you who handed me a drink."

"Yes and you fell asleep quite quickly. You must have been stressed over seeing your boyfriend confess to another, eh?"

"How did you…?"

"Mingle in a sea of drunken Shinigami?" He laughed. "Or how about how did I get into your precious Seireitei? Or even, how could I possibly be an Espada no one has ever seen or detected? Why wasn't I in the war? Where did I come from? Who is my brother? Why did I bring you here? What am I going to do with you?" He stretched his body so that he was lying on top of her. His large frame engulfed her.

She looked into his eyes and swallowed. He could give her brother a run for his money in hiding emotions. There was nothing there. She gasped as she felt his hand on her throat. He gently squeezed, cutting off her air supply.

"You do not deserve to know anything. You will know what I want you to know. You will do what I want you to do. Your life is now mine," he said as he relaxed his hand and let her breathe. He did not let go of her throat though. He leaned in and slowly licked the side of her face. "You exist for me. You will live for me or you will die by my hand. Everything about you is now under my control." He nuzzled her neck and bit down, hard.

Rukia cried out and tried to push him off with her good hand. He was too quick and grabbed her wrists. He pinned them to the bed, above her head and looked at her.

"Let's understand one thing," he whispered, "You will not resist me."

He tore her clothing off, exposing her to him. She cringed and again tried to fight him. He reached behind him and pulled out a set of handcuffs. He took her good wrist and clamped them down hard around it and secured the other end to the bed. He grabbed her damaged wrist and gave it a twist.

Tears sprang to her eyes as Rukia felt the jolt of pain. She ceased all movement.

"Good girl. Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" He asked as he stretched out on top of her once again. Rukia looked at him with horror in her eyes. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening.

His eyes wandered across her naked body. She didn't miss the slight frown he made as he looked at her breasts. "I was hoping they would be bigger," he scoffed at her. "No matter." The sound of him removing his clothing brought her back to reality.

"No!" she said. Zanko ignored her plea and positioned himself between her legs. She felt his hot manhood on her thigh and shook her head. "Please…no," she whispered.

He said nothing as he shoved himself inside of her. Rukia, not prepared, cried out in pain. Zanko clumsily groped her breast as he continued his movements.

It didn't take him long, only a few minutes before he moaned and came inside of her. Without a word he stood up, gathered his clothes and headed for the door to the hallway.

"You are mine," he said as he left.

Although her wrist throbbed and the place between her legs bled and burned, Rukia managed to roll herself over onto her right side. Both arm and leg of that side being tied to the bed. She closed her eyes and let the strong feeling of despair consume her.

…_Worthless…_

…_Incompetent…_

…_weak…_

…_Always needing someone to save your ass…_

…_No one to save you now…_

…_Give up…_

…_You lost Renji…_

…_You lost Kaien…_

…_You lost Ichigo…_

…_You're nothing but a burden to your brother…_

…_a disgrace…_

…_Give up…_

…_Give in…_

…_die you worthless piece of…_

…_DIE!..._

Her eyes shot open. She felt the side of her face become warm and wet as her tears began to fall. All she had wanted was a better life for her and Renji, to atone for Kaien, make her brother proud, and be loved by Ichigo.

Renji was dead.

Kaien was dead.

She was a disgrace to the Kuchiki name.

Ichigo loved Orihime.

Rukia buried her tear stained face into the dirty pillow and tried to stifle her sobs. She was broken, lost and held captive by a crazy Espada.

Giving up would be easy.

Giving in would be easy.

The world would be a better place without her in it. Maybe her next life, if she were allowed, would be better. Maybe with it, she could right what she had screwed up so badly with this one.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Ahh well. Guess I can't please everyone all the time… **

**To be honest, I don't much care for new characters either, but sometimes they are a necessity. Like in the original Star Trek (think William Shatner) and you had those people who you've never seen before suddenly appear on those away missions? You KNEW right then they were "expend a character"… They served no other purpose in the show other than to die. **

**I am guilty of creating Taro, who I have used in a few stories as a "bad" character. I've done that mainly because I just couldn't see anyone of the 13 doing what I want them to do. **

**Until now… (hmm, is that a hint?)**

**Yes, my Espada is a new character. Would it have been more fun if I used someone we already knew? I suppose… But I feel it would have been a bit predictable. This story's focus is about Rukia, not really anyone else – to include the new character. **

**If that turns some people away from this story, I'm sorry. It is what it is and I have more planned. I hope that you will stick it out, if not, that's ok.**

**I am thankful to everyone who reads my work. **

**Rape and torture warning… **

Chapter 5

Rukia awoke and felt like cold water was splashed on her as a chill went down her spine. She opened her eyes and looked around. It wasn't a dream.

She sat up as much as the restraints would let her and grabbed what was left of her torn clothing. She covered herself as best as she could, pausing as she looked at the blood on her thighs.

"_You are mine."_

The thought reverberated in her mind, over and over. A hundred questions started to form at the same time. Who, what, when, where, why was this happening? How was it happening? They cleared Los Noches, they got them all. Didn't they?

She closed her eyes and thought. Ichigo had already left to defeat Aizen. Kenpachi and her brother took care of Yammy and said the area was clear. Renji and Chad were being healed by Isane. Inoue was healing Ishida. Nemu was helping Isane.

Where could he have been hiding? What could she be missing?

Rukia inhaled sharply as she heard heavy foot falls outside the door.

She waited for the door to open, another assault to happen.

Nothing.

She heard her own heart beat and felt the sweat drip from her brow.

The door opened. Just as before, Zanko entered. He wore the same smile that never reached his eyes. He closed the door and looked at her.

"You look like shit, Kuchiki. Do you have any idea how long it took me to get clean last night?" he asked. He walked over and sat at the edge of her bed and put his nose in the air. He made dramatic sniffing sounds. "You smell like shit too."

She looked at him, but said nothing.

"Got nothing to say?"

Silence.

He reached out and grabbed a fist full of her hair, holding her head close to his face. "You will speak to me when I talk to you. Do you understand, Kuchiki?"

Eyes wide Rukia spat on him. Zanko threw her head back and smacked her. In an instant, he was on top of her again.

"Someone didn't learn anything from yesterday's lesson, did they?" He pinned down her bandaged wrist, twisting it again, making her cry out. "Do you need another lesson?"

"Go to hell," she whispered between the pain.

Zanko laughed. "You're in it, my dear. You're in it!" He wiped her spit off the side of his face and smeared it onto her bare shoulder. He pulled her hair again, forcing her head back. "You need to understand that you have no control over anything anymore."

He removed his pants. Rukia caught a glimpse of his size and understood why it hurt so much.

"I control everything," he said as he kissed her. "Your body, your mind, your spirit."

"How did you evade my brother and Kenpachi-taicho?" She managed to ask. Her mind grasped onto the thought and would not let go. Would not acknowledge what was about to happen. Again.

"Who said anything about evading them?"

"You're an Espada, one of Aizen's creations!"

"I never claimed to be anything. You saw me and labeled me yourself."

"But – "

"No!" He said as he cut her off. He tugged on her hair again. The pain made her stop. "No talking!" He took his hand and traced her thigh, pushing her legs apart.

Rukia gasped as he filled her once again. She bit her lip in trying to control the tears of pain as he once again roughly moved in and out of her.

"Your thoughts are mine, your will is mine. You will depend on me for everything and you will learn to show me appreciation."

Rukia's head knocked repeatedly into the headboard with each of his thrusts. Her mind went blank as it tried to block everything out.

Zanko grunted, indicating he was done. He stood and put his pants back on. "If you behave, I might let you bathe."

Rukia said nothing. She didn't move. Zanko checked the bandage on her ankle and wrist.

"You really did a number on your hand. I might have to amputate."

She looked at him. She heard clicking sounds as the handcuff was removed from her wrist. Only her right ankle was chained to the bed.

"I have other things to attend to. Do not try to escape again or I will kill the others," he said as he closed the door.

Her eyes widened. Others?

Renji. He did kill Renji. She wasn't seeing things. Who else did he have? What was going on? If he wasn't an Espada, what was he? Where did he come from? So many questions.

Rukia sat up and rubbed her newly freed wrist against her side to get the blood flowing. She looked at the restraint on her ankle. Steel chains with small spikes secured with a metal lock. There was no slipping out of that. She frowned.

Others…

It didn't matter that Ichigo was with Inoue. It didn't matter that she was worthless. She would do whatever it took to free whoever else was here.

She touched the reiatsu suppression collar around her neck. It was secured in the back. This one was different than the other one. This one would not come off no matter how much she pulled. Her finger found a small hole. It needed a key of some kind.

She sighed and looked around the room. There had to be something she could use.

_Haha! Use for what? What can you possibly do in your condition? You already mutilated your left hand trying to get out of here and what did that get you? _

"Stop," she whispered.

_You know I'm right. There isn't anything you can do so just lay back and die!_

"No! I will not! Not if there are others!" She said to the empty room. "I won't let another die."

_What if he's not alone?_

The thought sent fresh chills down her spine. She didn't want to think about that possibility although she knew it could be true. If she were lucky, she could take out Zanko; but if there were more like him? Rukia closed her eyes, pushing the thought away.

She had to save the others. She made that her new mission; her resolve to stay alive. She didn't care what happened to her own pathetic life, but if she could save the others…

Rukia opened her eyes. She could hear muffled screams from the other side of the main door. She scooted towards the end of the bed and covered herself once again with her tattered clothing. She strained to hear more.

The sounds stopped.

She inhaled sharply as she heard a scream. It sounded terrified…and far away. She couldn't make out who it was, man or woman. She closed her eyes and bowed her head. She had to find a way.

She looked at her chained foot again. The small spikes dug into her skin as she moved. Rukia reached out and gave the bed post a tug. It moved. The wood was old and there was a small gap between it and the rest of the foot board. If she worked it back and forth, she thought she would be able to separate the post from the bed, and then be able to slip the chain off.

She ignored the pain in her wrist and ankle as she moved the post. The chain dug deeper into her other ankle and it had begun to bleed.

"Damn it," she whispered. The post wiggled, but it would not separate. After over an hour of trying to pry it off, she sat back and wiped her brow.

She jumped back as the door opened without warning.

Without a word or his usual smile, Zanko entered. He produced a key and unlatched Rukia from the bed. He grabbed her hair and pulled her up.

Losing her balance, she fell to the floor. Her hands went to her hair to try to help lessen the pain as he half dragged her out of the room.

"I told you not to try to escape." He said as they were half way down the hall. They were heading towards the back of the house. "You didn't listen to any of your previous lessons and apparently you doubt my words."

They reached a door at the end of the hall. He took out a key and unlocked it. The door opened, revealing a set of stairs leading to a basement. Rukia squinted, trying to get her eyes to adjust faster. All she could see was darkness.

"This is your fault, Kuchiki. You have no one to blame but yourself," he said as he pushed her down the stairs.

She rolled and landed with a thud on her butt into something wet. The chain around her ankle bit in, perforating her skin. Zanko did nothing but laugh as he shut the door, sealing her in darkness. Rukia stayed at the bottom of the stairs on the wet floor, not sure about what she would encounter in the dark. She heard small squeaks coming from the center of the room.

Rats. An animal she was all too familiar with from her days in Rukongai. She shivered and wrapped her arms around her legs, drawing her knees to her chest. She hated rats. Too many nights were spent having them crawl over her small body, trying to nibble at her.

There was another noise as well. There was a constant drip noise coming from the ceiling. Rukia assumed it was from the water pipes. Ichigo had to fix a leak one time and explained to her how it all worked.

Ichigo…

Rukia blocked out the memory.

Small cracks in the ceiling let in small rays of light. It took several minutes for her eyes to get used to the dark. With what light came in, she was able to make out a pull string to a light bulb half way up the stairs.

Being careful of her wrist and ankle, Rukia crawled up the stairs and pulled the string. As she looked around the room, she gasped in horror. She backed up against the wall, but lost her footing. She tumbled back down the stairs.

The room was covered in blood. More of it dripped from the ceiling. Rats were crawling and eating what was left of Renji's body in the center of the room. There were more rats in the opposite corner eating something else.

As Rukia looked up to see where the blood was coming from, she screamed.

Zanko stood on the other side of the door, upstairs and smiled.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Torture, blood, gore, rape and everything else a warning should contain… Sorry about the lateness of these chapters. Something was wrong with our phone line / internet. Maintenance finally fixed it and the power goes out.**

**If it's not one thing, it's another… Ah well… Life goes on…**

**Thank you very much for those who are reading and a special thank you for those who have commented and messaged me You all are OSM!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 6<p>

Rukia looked at the ceiling and screamed. The bodies of Rangiku and Ikkaku were strung up and left to hang. Their blood was dripping from their eyes and mouth onto the floor making the sound she had mistaken for water earlier.

She looked in the corner. The rats had completely covered the body they were currently munching on. She could make out a small tuft of white hair. Hitsugaya-taicho.

She screamed again.

These were powerful Shinigami. How could they have been taken out? Was Zanko that strong? She shook her head in denial. This wasn't happening.

"."

Chills went down her spine as her whole body started to shake uncontrollably.

"I told you what would happen if you tried to escape, didn't I?"

The voice, _his_ voice came from the top of the stairs. Rukia shook her head.

"It's not my fault," she whispered.

"There are consequences for everything you do."

"It's not my fault!"

"It's not? Do you deny the fact you killed my brother?"

Rukia drew her knees to her chest. "You're an Espada! You don't have a brother!"

"Oh, no, no, no… That's where you're wrong. But that wouldn't be the first time, would it?"

Rukia shook her head.

"What are hollows?" He asked. Rukia said nothing.

"We are beings with primal instincts, yes? We are also what you Shinigami refer to as 'lost souls', yes?" Zanko touched the door, but did not open it.

Rukia closed her eyes.

"Are you ready for a story, Kuchiki? My brother and I roamed Hueco Mundo for centuries before he was eaten by another hollow. He was always careless and always needed me to look out for him. I told him to stay out of the fight. I told him they were too strong. Like you, he didn't listen to me. Like you, he was punished. He was eaten and then captured by that Shinigami, Aizen. I stayed far enough away that they didn't detect me, but I followed them. I was in the shadows as they used that rock and turned the hollow that ate him. I knew he was still there. I heard his screams."

Zanko opened the door. He looked at Rukia, curled up in the corner. He took a step down. "They became Espada number nine. Are you familiar with him?" Rukia looked up at him and gasped. "Yes, the very same one who ate your captain ate my brother. I was going to save him but before I could, you killed him."

"But he's not…"

"Oh yes, he is. I can't feel him anymore. The moment you called out that damned third dance you sealed his fate. Our connection has been severed."

Rukia looked at him.

"It may have been your precious Kaien he used to lure you, but it was my brother who fueled him." He looked down on her with contempt. "That purple haired freak captured me not too long after that and turned me into what I am now. He brought me into his division and thought he could contain me. I figured out how to get out and I used his technology to learn about the one who killed my brother. I know everything there is to know about you, Kuchiki."

"He's not dead!"

"Our connection is severed! It was severed by you! That's all I need to know!" He said as he came down the rest of the stairs. He grabbed her by her chin and forced her to stand. "You see these others here? Do you?" He moved her head so that it faced the middle of the room. "I told you, TOLD you not to escape but you didn't listen, did you?"

"I didn't – "

"Don't you lie to me!" He said as he smacked her across her face. The force pushed her back into the corner. "You were moving the bed post! You were trying to escape!" He grabbed her jaw and pushed her into the corner, lifting her off of her feet. "These people are dead because you didn't understand your lesson. Do you get it now?"

Rukia gagged and choked. She managed to croak out a yes before he released her. Choking and gasping for air, she slouched to the floor.

"You will listen. You took my brother from me so I have taken your life from you. You will live to please me, you will live you serve me. If you don't, more will be punished."

Rukia stopped choking and looked at him. "More?"

"Oh yes, my dear. I have others and I will not hesitate to kill them to keep you in line. Are we clear now?"

Wide eyed, Rukia nodded. Zanko smiled his soulless smile.

"I am glad you're beginning to understand. However, because you have been disrespectful, I will leave you down here. It should be like being at home. You did used to sleep with the rats after all." He said as he walked back up the stairs.

Rukia panicked. "No! Please!"

Zanko said nothing. He reached out, pulled the string, extinguishing the light and made his way to the top of the stairs. He shut the door and locked it.

Rukia heard the rats squeak and make noise as they finished their meal.

* * *

><p>As the minutes slowly ticked into hours and hours into days, Rukia began to lose track of all sense of time. She was constantly wet from the blood soaked floor, cold and hungry. She couldn't sleep for long as she had to keep the rats away. She would no sooner close her eyes then feel one on her somewhere; their tiny feet pawing at her.<p>

That wasn't the worst of it to her. The worst part was not being able to get away from her friends. Renji, Toshiro, Rangiku, Ikkaku. When Zanko left her, the first thing she did was scramble up the stairs to turn the light back on. She didn't like the dark.

She found the light not much better. She was able to see the lifeless eyes of her friends, staring at her. In them she saw accusations.

_This is your fault, Rukia…_

_How could you let this happen?_

_All you had to do was listen to him. _

_Do you finally understand why you are always protected? You can't do anything on your own._

_Poor little broken doll, always needing someone to help her, do you need help?_

_We could have helped you._

Rukia looked from one to another and screamed. She scrambled back up the stairs and turned the light out. Dealing with the rats would be…easier…

There she sat, day in and day out, in the corner waiting for Zanko, waiting to die.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Rape, torture warning…**

**Thank you everyone for following my story!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 7<p>

Rukia huddled in the corner as she heard the door open.

"Ruuuukiaaaaa, have you been a good girl?" He asked as he started to walk down the stairs. He pulled the string, pouring light into the dark basement. Rukia cringed at the light and shielded her eyes.

Zanko picked her up and brought her back upstairs. He walked into the bathroom that was connected to her original room and took her clothes off. Rukia said nothing and barely moved, allowing him to do as he wished.

The room was big for a bathroom. It contained one broken toilet a dirty and chipped ceramic sink and a bathtub with a broken shower head. The walls were decorated in faded green tiles that were chipped, cracked or missing in several places. The floor tile was dirty and faded.

"Yes, I think you're finally starting to understand your position," he said as he picked her up and placed her into the tub of hot water. He took some soap and washed her hair. Rukia focused on the black line edging the tub. Mold and mildew surrounded the tiles that normally got wet during a bath or shower. She looked at the water as it quickly became red from the blood of her comrades.

"Did you have a good week?" He asked as he lathered her hair.

She said nothing. He pulled a small fistful of her hair.

"Did you have a good week?" he asked again.

"No," she whispered.

Zanko smiled and threw her head back, pushing her head into the water. He let go and watched as she listed her head and gasped for air.

"Look at me," he commanded. Her sunken violet orbs met his crystal ice blues. "Who do you belong to?"

Rukia looked at him. She looked at the piece of bone that lined his jaw. He was an Espada, sworn enemy to all Shinigami. Right?

Yet, she had wronged him. She had killed his brother. She owed him, had to atone…

_You're rationalizing. Pathetic. No wonder everyone thinks you're weak._

"I am…"

"Who do you belong to?" he asked again, his patience clearly getting short.

"I am Kuchiki Rukia! I belong to the Thirteenth Division of the – "

He pushed her back into the water. He smiled as she struggled. He picked her up and dunked her again.

"Do you need to go back to the basement? Do I need to show you the others? Your brother, maybe?"

Rukia gasped. There was no way he had her brother. He let her go so she could catch her breath.

"Who do you belong to?"

"No one," she said stubbornly. His eyes narrowed.

"Is your pride so big that you would let others get hurt by it?" He stood up and walked out of the room. Rukia looked around the room for something to cover herself with. The room was empty, not even a shower curtain was there.

Her eyes grew as Zanko stood in the doorway. He had someone in a choke hold although they were already unconscious. Their arms were bound together. As Zanko shifted, he lifted up on the head he was holding.

It took Rukia a few minutes to place who he was holding as they were dressed in a simple white shirt and black slacks. She screamed as she saw his face.

Byakuya Kuchiki.

Zanko took a knife and put it to the side of her brother's neck.

"No!" Rukia said as she tried to stand. The bloody water was slick; her ankle was still sprained and made it difficult for her to stand. She managed to get to her knees and bent over the tub so she could fall out of it onto the floor. She landed with a wet "plop" and looked at Zanko, horrified.

"You're just not a good girl, are you?" He said as he dug the knife in. Blood spurted out. Rukia screamed and lunged her naked body across the bathroom floor. She held her hands out, trying to reach her brother. She managed to grab onto his sleeve as his body fell. She moved to his neck, wanting to prevent him from losing more blood.

Rukia froze before starting to shake.

"I think you'll be needing this, ne?" Zanko asked as he dropped the head he was still holding. It landed on top of Byakuya's chest, in front of Rukia.

Rukia heard awful screaming, it was loud and full of fear. Her eyes felt heavy. It wasn't until she slowly closed them that she realized it was she who was screaming. As unconsciousness took her, she was relieved to not have to see her brother's eyes on her anymore.

* * *

><p>Rukia opened her eyes. She was in the same room she was in before. She blinked a few times. It was sometime during the day as the sun was up. It's meager light illuminating the room. She looked down to find she was clean and dressed. She wore a simple violet dress. Her legs were chained to the bed. She looked over and found her wrists were as well. The left one was still bandaged.<p>

She blinked a few times.

Was it all a dream?

She heard footsteps outside the door. Her breath quickened.

"Kuuuchiiiikiiiiiii…" She heard Zanko on the other side of the door.

Not a dream.

The door opened. Zanko came in carrying a tray of food. He set it down on the nightstand and looked at her.

"I've missed you," he said with kindness in his voice. Rukia looked at him. "I was lonely up here in the week that was your punishment only to have you pass out on me for another." He picked up a bowl of miso soup and a spoon. He offered her the warm liquid. "Eat."

Rukia found her body betraying her as she moved her head towards Zanko. She didn't know what was harder to believe, that he was sitting there feeding her or that she was letting him.

"That's a good girl. See? I can be nice," he said as he gave her another spoonful.

She studied his hand that held the spoon. As she ate, she remembered her brother's head as it fell from Zanko's hands. That very hand.

Her throat closed up and she choked.

Zanko didn't seem to mind as he set the bowl down and patted her back.

"Tell me, Kuchiki Rukia…" He said as he lifted her dress above her waist. "Tell me what I want to hear."

She looked at him yet couldn't get her mouth to move.

He put his weight on her as he fondled her breast through her dress. "Just say it once. It's the least you can do considering everything you've put me through. But then again," he said as he started to finger her, "You're used to fucking up people's lives aren't you?"

Rukia gasped and turned her head away. Zanko wouldn't have it and pulled her head back. "Open your eyes or I will kill another one of your friends."

"W-why? Why are you doing this?" She asked, trying to cover her sob.

Zanko removed his hand and looked at her.

"Didn't we go over this already? You killed my brother!"

"That…thing ate him! He was no longer your brother! No more than Kaien-dono was still Kaien-dono," she managed as tears started to fall.

"I told you I could still hear him! He was still in there and I could have saved him if you hadn't come along and killed him!" The anger in Zanko's voice grew. He put both hands on her shoulders and let his thumbs caress her neck. "Is that what keeps you going, Shinigami? Is that what eases your mind at night? Telling yourself that your precious Kaien wasn't himself once he was eaten?" He laughed as he pressed his thumbs down into the hollow of her throat. "Let me tell you…That's NOT the case!"

Rukia's eyes bulged as she struggled against her restraints. She pulled and twisted her limbs, trying to free one of them so she could get this monster off of her. It was when she made a gurgling sound Zanko let up.

"YOU killed him! YOU severed my connection with him!" He said as he slapped her, splitting the skin across her cheek. "And it is YOU who will repay me." Rukia gasped and choked as she tried to get air back into her lungs. She didn't have time to prepare as more pain seared through her as Zanko rammed himself deep inside of her.

* * *

><p>Zanko finished dressing and looked at his bloody captive. Her face was swollen, her eyes vacant. He smiled.<p>

"That's how I like to see you. Broken like a child's toy that's been used up. There is no one left to save you, you know. I have taken them all."

Rukia looked at him.

"Oh yes, all of them. I will tell you one last time. If you do not submit to me, I will kill the rest."

Rukia thought of Renji's mutilated body, the others in the basement, and of her brother. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to get the mental image out of her head.

"Who do you belong to, Kuchiki?"

Rukia sobbed in defeat.

"You," she whispered.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: "La La La" is stuck in my head (Bleach Beats Collection)… Anyway – I had hoped to wrap this Halloween special up by Thanksgiving… sigh… **

**Thank you everyone for following and reading my story, especially to those who have commented and favorite and alerted… You guys are awesome!**

**Rape, torture, death and I'm really sorry for the delay! **

* * *

><p>Chapter 8<p>

_Zanko finished dressing and looked at his bloody captive. Her face was swollen, her eyes vacant. He smiled. _

"_That's how I like to see you. Broken like a child's toy that's been used up. There is no one left to save you, you know. I have taken them all."_

_Rukia looked at him._

"_Oh yes, all of them. I will tell you one last time. If you do not submit to me, I will kill the rest."_

_Rukia thought of Renji's mutilated body, the others in the basement, and of her brother. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to get the mental image out of her head._

"_Who do you belong to, Kuchiki?"_

_Rukia sobbed in defeat._

"_You," she whispered._

* * *

><p>After her submission, he freed her from her restraints except for her right ankle. Rukia curled into a ball.<p>

"No…no…he doesn't…he can't…not him…not him…" she chanted as she pleaded to the empty room. Zanko had taken Renji, he had taken her brother, he had taken people who meant everything to her. If he had… Ichigo…

_So what if he does? What are you going to do about it?_

"What can I do?" she whispered.

You can sit there and sulk or you can fight him!

"If I fight, he'll kill him, like Nii-"

_SO WHAT? Ichigo made his choice and you weren't it! What does it matter if he's caught? YOU need to start taking care of YOU! YOU need to fight! YOU need to get out of here!_

"No…" Rukia said to the empty room. She curled up tighter. "No. I can't let him die. Not like the others."

_His life is more important than yours?_

Rukia was quiet.

_Pathetic. Weak. Useless! _

Silence.

Finally the voice had quieted itself. It didn't matter if it was right or wrong. Maybe she was pathetic, maybe she was weak, maybe she was useless. It didn't matter. The game was over in her mind. Zanko had others and there wasn't anything she could do about it. If by submitting to him meant that everyone else had a chance… Surely Ichigo would figure something out.

She sighed. Her thoughts turned to the night of the party. The night Inoue confessed and he accepted her confession. What right did she have intruding? What right did she have thinking that he could love her as she did him? What right did she have for wanting a human to love her?

She had no right.

It didn't matter how special he was, that he was half human and half Shinigami or how much power he had. In the end, he was still human with a long human life to live. He needed to…he deserved to live his life and he deserved to live it how he saw fit, loving who he wanted to love.

Rukia knew in her heart she had to let him go. The realization made her heart ache and her tears fall.

* * *

><p>She lost track of time over the next several days. Zanko would come in, and depending on his mood, would either hit her or have sex with her, sometimes both.<p>

Every time he would ask who she belonged to. Every time she would submit. If she had any thoughts of escape, they would be quickly wiped out by Zanko's mention of holding a certain orange headed Shinigami.

"I strike a nerve with you when I mention him. What is he to you?" He asked her as he held her throat.

"No one," she whispered.

"I don't believe you," he sneered. "I think I should bring him in here and take you in front of him. What do you think about that?" He asked as she shook her.

"Do as you wish," she said as she closed her eyes. His heart belonged to another, it wouldn't matter. Zanko was infuriated.

"No!" He threw her back down on the bed, her head hitting the headboard. "I'll just bring him in here and kill him in front of you! Would you like that better?" He demanded.

Rukia sat up and put her hands on his arm, fear, clearly written on her face. "No!" she pleaded. "Please! Don't hurt him!"

He pushed his pants down in front of her.

"With your mouth, Kuchiki," he said as he smiled.

Rukia looked at her mangled wrist. Ugly, rough, uneven scars had started to form. She doubted it would function properly again. Not that it mattered. She had resigned herself to her fate of being tortured by Zanko for the rest of eternity. Didn't she?

She stood up and walked into the bathroom. A few days after her submission, he freed her from her restraints, allowing her access to the bathroom as needed. She was still confined, her door locked. When she pulled back the curtains in her room, she discovered iron bars on the windows.

She looked at her swollen and bruised face in what was left of the mirror above the sink before she turned away. A red stain marked the floor from where her brother was killed in front of her.

Anger coursed through her body.

_And what is that going to do? Are you finally ready to fight back? Are you finally ready to rely on yourself and stand up for yourself?_

"What if he…"

_Kills him? Pfft. Do you think if the situation was reversed Ichigo would just lie there and take it like you've been doing? He would fight! He would fight until he could no longer fight! That's the difference between a great warrior and you._

"If I don't…"

_If you continue like you are, there will be nothing left of you. Do you want to lose yourself or do you want to save him?_

"I want to save him." She looked at herself in the corner of the broken mirror. "I want to save myself." A new determination shone in her blood shot eyes. She went back to the bedroom and tore a strip of cloth from the dirty sheet. She wrapped her good hand and walked back to the bathroom. She took one last look at the blood stain on the floor before narrowing her eyes. She punched what was left of the mirror, breaking it into shards.

She heard the tinking sound as they broke and fell into the rusty sink. She picked up a long sharp pointy piece and put it to her neck. With a small blast of reiatsu, she cut the suppression collar and turned towards the door.

In an instant, the door flew off of its hinges. Zanko was not pleased.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: So… In order to get back on track with the other stories I have going on, there will be no Christmas special this year… Your Christmas present will be the ending of the Halloween special before the year is over :P**

**Seriously – this ends the story – next chapter ties it all together and there you have it – finally… Thank you ALL for your patience, emails and kind words! I appreciate you all!**

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><p>Chapter 9<p>

Zanko was not pleased. He felt the blast of reiatsu and was instantly by her door. How dare she defy him! How _dare_ she!

"You will be punished for this!" He said as he walked in. Rukia stood there, in the door frame of the bathroom, her arms behind her, the collar on the floor in front of her. One small drop of blood trickled down from her neck where she nicked herself taking the collar off. Her eyes, wide. Her demeanor, calm.

"No," she said, defiantly. She raised her head, "Release the others!" She demanded.

"Submit, now!"

"NO!"

"Kuchiki, this is your last warning!"

Rukia threw her hands up and started chanting, "Hado sanju san, Sokatsui!" As blue fire erupted from her hands, a surprised looked passed over Zanko's features before he was hit and thrown back through the doorway crashing into the wall on the other side. Rukia quickly followed and put her hands up again. "Hainawa!"

The yellow light emerged and crawled its way across the hall and wrapped itself around Zanko before he had time to recover.

"Release me!" He yelled.

Rukia stood over him. "Where is Ichigo?"

Zanko laughed. Rukia took a small step back and looked down the dimly lit hallway. "Ichigo!" She called out. "Ichigo!"

Zanko continued to laugh. Rukia brought her attention back to him. "Where is he?"

He stifled his laugh long enough to ask, "Who?"

"Ichigo!"

"Where is he, indeed." He looked at her. "Release me and I'll tell you where he is."

"You must think I'm a fool," she said as she took a few steps into the hallway. "Ichigo!" She called out again. Not hearing anything, she made her way to the end of the hall. She touched the door to the basement. She glanced back at her captive before deciding to open it.

The basement was dark. She gave herself a few minutes for her eyes to adjust before she took a few steps down. She felt for the pull string to the light. She pulled it and gasped.

The basement was empty.

No rats, no blood, no bodies. The floor was completely clean.

Rukia narrowed her eyes and made her way down. She looked at the corner where she kept herself many nights before. Clean. She looked at where Rangiku-san and Ikkaku were hung. They were gone. Renji, gone. Hitsugaya, gone.

Quickly, she ran back upstairs. The hallway was empty.

A chill ran down her spine as the hairs on her neck stood.

Shit.

She clutched the sliver of mirror tighter and brought her arm up, ready to strike if need be.

"…" She heard his voice in the distance, outside of the house, taunting her. Carefully, she walked down the hallway being careful as she passed the open door to her "room".

Her heart was pounding, deafening her ears in the silence.

_Snap!_

Rukia turned…Nothing.

She took a step into the kitchen, nothing. She scanned the counters looking for something to replace the little piece of mirror with but the counters were bare, the drawers, empty. She glanced at the side door, the one she escaped through once before and looked at the sun. The door was slightly open, the sun shining through. She guessed it was mid-afternoon by it position.

She resisted the urge to run. She knew her ankle wasn't fully healed and she wouldn't get far. No, she had to be patient, cautious.

_Is that something Ichigo would do?_

Ichigo.

Was he still here? Bound somewhere? Or was he dead, like everyone else she cared about? The thought made her unconsciously sob.

She briefly closed her eyes and controlled her breathing. She pushed the thought of Ichigo's death from her mind.

"Where are they?" she yelled out. She took a step towards the door. And then another. "Answer me!" She touched the door and pushed it open while taking a step back in case he was there waiting for her.

Silence.

"Zanko!" She screamed. "Where are the others?" She asked as she stepped through the door.

She found him leaning on a tall oak in the middle of the small yard. In another time, another place he might have passed for handsome.

"What others?"

Rukia paused. Blinked. "Ichigo! You will release Ichigo!"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Rukia took a step back. _What?_

Zanko grinned and stood. He walked towards her. She put her hand up, "Don't come any closer!" His grin became wider, impossibly wider and he didn't slow.

"Hado Sanju-ichi Shakkaho!" Red fire flew from her hands aimed at Zanko's chest. Only he wasn't there. Her eyes grew as she felt his presence pass her. She felt his hands on her as she turned to face him.

"I'm done playing with you, Kuchiki. It's time you joined everyone else in their fate," he said as he tightened his grip around her waist with one hand and pulled out his sword with his other.

Rukia didn't have time to think, she took the piece of mirror she was holding and plunged it into his chest, where his heart should have been.

Gasping, he released her and stepped back.

Rukia took off into the woods.

"You can run, but I will catch you, Kuchiki! You're MINE! You already gave yourself to me! HAHAHA!"

She heard the words and his laughter and ran as fast as she could. Her ankle was a hindrance and she couldn't run near as fast as she needed to. Shunpo was out of the question. Not that she could in her gigai anyway.

Red, yellow and orange colored leaves flew by her as she ran. Fall was her second favorite season. She loved the many colors the leaves turned before they browned and fell off the tree.

She couldn't hide, no longer wearing the suppression collar, he would sense her. She couldn't out run him; he was an Espada and could use Sonido at any time and instantly catch her. That narrowed her options down significantly. Scanning the trees as she ran, she knew she didn't have a lot of time. She still had to find out what happened to Ichigo and whoever else he might have been holding. If they were still alive…

They HAD to be. She did everything he asked of her; every humiliating thing. Her eyes narrowed.

She heard the familiar sound of the Sonido and a twig snapped behind her. She was out of time. She found a branch and scooped it up as she turned in one fluid motion. She brought it up, chest height, ready to strike as she felt the cold steel of his blade enter her left shoulder. She managed to connect the branch to his left knee as she lost all feeling in her arm.

Zanko grinned even as he went down.

Rukia backed up, pulling herself off of his sword. She gripped the branch with her right hand tighter and put the tip to his throat.

"Where are they?" She asked again. Zanko looked at her with the same stupid grin on his face.

"I killed them," he said simply. He carefully watched her reaction.

To her credit, Rukia remained still. Unbelieving. Zanko laughed.

"You're so hung up on someone who didn't even care you were mine."

"What?"

"Ichigo, didn't care what I did to you. I told him you were mine. He only started caring when I said I would do the same to his girlfriend."

Rukia felt like the world was crashing down around her.

"Once I killed her, he went ballistic. He was so mournful, so sad, he almost begged me to put him out of his misery."

"No…that's not Ichigo at all. He would never – "

"He died blaming you, you know."

Rukia stumbled and dropped the branch. Zanko was quick on his feet and grabbed her.

"No! It's not true…it's not…" The blood rushed to her head, she felt dizzy, lightheaded and sick. Ichigo was gone and it was her fault. He…

Rukia fainted.

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><p><em>Well, that's it then. You have no one left. He killed everyone and Ichigo…Ichigo died hating you. If it wasn't for you, he would be living, he would be with his Inoue making little orange headed babies and his life would be perfect.<em>

_NO!_

_A bloody image of Ichigo floated in front of her._

"_YOU did this to me! This is all your fault! He killed her because of YOU! I HATE YOU!"_

_No!_

_NO!_

_I did everything he wanted! I did it for you, Ichigo! I tried to save you!_

"_You're not good enough! You were NEVER good enough!"_

_That's not true! I can handle myself!_

"_Yeah, like you handled yourself into execution? Like you handled yourself with the Bounts? Like you handled yourself – "_

_STOP! STOP IT! _

"_You're weak!"_

_Pathetic._

_Not worthy._

"_Orihime is DEAD because of you!"_

"_I am DEAD because of you!"_

_Useless things die._

_DIE!_

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><p><em>GASP!<em>

Rukia awoke with a start. She found herself in Zanko's arms. He had carried her back to the house and they had just entered the living room. She wiggled and pushed him away. Shocked she was awake, Zanko dropped her.

"Hado Sanju san, Sokatsui!" Rukia cried out. Zanko drew his blade and used Sonido. He was immediately behind her as the blue lightening crashed into the kitchen wall. A spark ignited and a small fire erupted.

Rukia looked down as his blade cut across her chest. She kicked behind her and fell to the floor and rolled away.

Zanko was instantly on her. He forced her to lay flat on her back as imitated her actions earlier and put the tip of his blade to her throat. A small drop of blood trickled out and down the side of her neck.

"Do it!" She said.

"Did I hear correctly? The great Kuchiki Rukia is asking for death?"

"DO IT!" She screamed as she stretched out her right hand and tried to reach his arm.

"Hmph," he said as he removed his blade. Rukia grabbed his arm and reached for the hilt. Zanko hit her in her face and stood up. Blood poured from her nose as she sat up.

The kitchen was on fire. Beside her, on the floor, was another shard of the broken mirror.

As she bent over to stand, she caught sight of herself in it.

_Ichigo may have hated you, but you didn't kill him. Zanko did._

She looked over at him. His back was to her.

_He killed Ichigo._

Rukia picked up the shard and tried to stand. She had to put most of her weight on her right foot as she had somehow broken her ankle again during the struggle.

"How does it feel, Kuchiki?" he asked, his back still to her. "How does it feel knowing the one man you loved died hating you?"

"He died because of you!" She yelled.

"No," he laughed, "he died because of YOU!"

"Nooooo!" Rukia yelled as she lunged at him. She threw her small body onto his back and plunged the mirror into his neck. She stabbed at him repeatedly, she didn't notice anything as they both fell to the floor, she didn't notice the fire had now completely engulfed the kitchen and was now spreading into the living room, she didn't notice she was covered in his blood, she didn't notice she had killed him.

She was completely focused on her task, she didn't notice the front door as it burst open.

She didn't hear the voices as they called out to her.

She ignored the feeling of someone restraining her.

She blinked and looked away from Zanko's body. She saw the raging fire that was now taking over the far corner of the living room.

She turned and saw Ichigo's ghost. He was standing in the doorway. Rukia reached out with her good arm to him before her eyes rolled into the back of her head.

"I'm sorry…I couldn't…save you…Ichigo…" she whispered before collapsing into someone's arms.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Well! I hope everyone had a Happy HALLOWEEN! (and Thanksgiving and all the other Holidays this time of year…). I am deeply sorry for the amount of time it took for me to get this out. Again, thank you all for your patience and I hope to see you back on my other stories. **

**And yes, this is a really long ending chapter. I probably could have split it up, but you've been patient enough. I also decided I couldn't accept IchiHime in any of my stories…**

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><p>Chapter 10<p>

"Kuchiki-san!" Kisuke shouted from across the now open door.

Rukia didn't hear. She kept stabbing Zanko over and over as she screamed.

Kisuke came up behind her and grabbed her wrist with the knife, preventing her from accidentally stabbing him. He looked at her. She was cut up, covered in bruises and blood.

_What the hell happened?_ He asked himself.

Rukia stopped moving and turned her head. Kisuke followed her gaze to the front door. Ichigo came running in just as Rukia collapsed in Kisuke's arms.

"I'm sorry…I couldn't…save you…Ichigo…" she whispered before she passed out.

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><p>The yellow light faded as Inoue stood. She looked at the others in the room and gave a small nod. "She…she's been through... She was… He…"<p>

"It's ok, Inoue-san." Kisuke said. They all had a general idea of the kind of torture Zanko put her through just by looking at her. He didn't want to hear the despicable words, especially from an innocent like Inoue.

"I...I can't get her to wake up," she said sadly.

"I'm sure her mind needs to rest. Thank you for everything you've done," he said as he stood by the door and looked at them both.

"What?" Ichigo said. "You expect us to leave?"

"Yes."

"I'm not leaving her!" Ichigo insisted. Inoue gave him a sad look.

"She's going to need time to adjust when she wakes up. If she sees you or anyone else before she's ready, it could seriously damage her mental stability!" Kisuke said firmly.

"All the more reason she'll need us. We need to be here," Ichigo insisted.

Kisuke shook his head. "Kurosaki-san…I'll call you when she wakes up."

"But…"

Kisuke looked at Inoue for some help. At least she had a clue.

"Come on, Kurosaki-kun. There's no telling how long Kuchiki-san will be sleeping and I'm sure you'll be the first one he tells when she wakes up, right?"

"Scouts honor," Kisuke said.

Reluctantly, Ichigo left with Inoue on his arm. Kisuke sighed.

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><p>A week later Rukia opened her eyes as her memories came rushing back. She sat up with a gasp and frantically looked around. She grabbed the sheet she was under and held it to her chest as she backed herself into the corner of the room.<p>

Slowly, her eyes began to focus. The room was different. She looked at her wrist and ankle. They were healed. She blinked. The door opposite from where she was curled up opened. Rukia held her breath.

"It's ok, Kuchiki-san," Kisuke said as he entered the room. "It's all over now."

Rukia looked at him but didn't say anything.

Over.

It was over. Zanko was dead.

"Rukia!"

Rukia's eyes widened.

"Rukia!" Renji called out as he ran past Kisuke. He didn't notice her flinch as he put his hands on her shoulders. "Are you ok? I'm so glad we finally found you and – "

"What part of 'I go first and talk to her' did you not understand?" Kisuke said angrily. Renji blushed.

"Y-you! H-How are you alive?" Her eyes wide, she backed further into the corner. Breathing rapidly, she felt very light headed. Renji gave her a puzzled look. Kisuke frowned at Renji. This was not how he wanted to explain things to the poor girl.

"What you saw at the house was Abarai's gigai, Kuchiki-san," Kisuke offered.

"Gi..gai," she whispered.

"Yes. Castigador Zankokuna did not kill Renji. Do you understand, Kuchiki-san?"

Renji backed up, giving her room. Rukia stood up and looked at Renji.

"So he…he wasn't…"

"He wasn't killed, no. None of them were. "

"None?" The room started to spin and she regretted standing. Renji moved to stand next to her, in case she fainted. She looked at him and tried to focus. Everyone was…alive? She managed to put the palm of her hand against Renji's face. It was warm. He felt alive. She had to be dreaming. Zanko was doing something to her…

"They were all gigai's." Toshiro said as he came into the room. Rukia looked at him, confused.

"Nii-sama?"

"He's fine," Kisuke said.

"He's on a mission at the moment but will be here soon," Toshiro said.

"H-how?"

"I don't think right now – "

"Tell me!" Rukia pleaded. She looked from Renji to Kisuke to Toshiro.

"The morning after the party two discoveries were made. The first one came when Nemu came to my office and told me one of Kurotsuchi's experiments got out the previous night. He went out to retrieve it but had not returned. Since I was the only one still sober, she felt I could help." Toshiro said. Rukia seemed to look through him as things started to click in her mind.

"Kurotsuchi-taicho…created…Zanko…" She whispered. Toshiro closed his eyes.

"Apparently while you were all still in Hueco Mundo, Kurotsuchi had the opportunity to create him somehow." Kisuke said.

"It must have been after he defeated Szayel!" Renji yelled. "He found his underground lab. While we went to help the others, he stayed behind."

"According to Nemu, he found a fragment of a simulated Hogyoku. He captured a hollow and brought it back to his lab. Once Aizen was defeated, he created his own Espada." Toshiro continued.

Rukia searched her memory. "He said he broke out and used some sort of technology?"

"He used one of the memory machines the division has and downloaded information about you into his head. He quickly overpowered everyone in the building. He drained their memories using the same machine. Kurotsuchi was found later that afternoon in the Kuchiki manor. That's when we discovered you were missing."

Rukia started to shake as a chill went through her.

"We've been searching since."

"H-how long was I…?"

"Almost four months," Toshiro replied.

"It wasn't until Renji decided to search the living world for you that we discovered all of the gigai's stored here were stolen. With you being in one yourself and your reiatsu being suppressed, it's not surprising you couldn't tell the difference. Because of that, we had no idea where to look for you."

"They're all…"

"Alive and ok."

She looked at Kisuke as if she still didn't quite believe him. She quickly grew uncomfortable as all eyes were on her. She glanced at Renji, Toshiro, Kisuke before looking at the floor.

_What did you expect? _

Rukia jumped as the bell to the shop rang out. Inoue and Ichigo entered the shop.

"Oi!" Ichigo hollered as they entered the back room. Their eyes grew as they saw Rukia standing in the corner, holding onto a sheet with Renji next to her.

"Kuchiki-san! You're awake, are you ok?" Inoue asked.

"Rukia…"

Rukia stared blankly at the two.

_Lovers. They would be lovers by now, wouldn't they?_

"Orihime-san, you healed her physically but I'm afraid she will have a long way to go before she heals herself mentally from everything that's happened," Kisuke said. He turned to Rukia, "It was decided that you would remain here until we could explain everything that happened that way you wouldn't be so shocked waking up in the Kuchiki manor. Your brother will be here soon to take you back to his mansion where he will look after you."

Rukia still stared.

_Look at the little whore with pity. They pity you, you know. They don't think you're strong at all. You're weak and pathetic._

"And I'll do everything I can to help you," Renji added. "I'm not going to let you out of my sight."

_Always needing someone to take care of you…_

She closed her eyes to shut out that small voice.

"Are you ok?" Inoue asked.

"Are you alright?" Ichigo asked.

The image from her dream came back full force.

"_YOU did this to me! This is all your fault! He killed her because of YOU! I HATE YOU!"_

_No!_

_NO!_

_I did everything he wanted! I did it for you, Ichigo! I tried to save you!_

"_You're not good enough! You were NEVER good enough!"_

_That's not true! I can handle myself!_

"_Yeah, like you handled yourself into execution? Like you handled yourself with the Bounts? Like you handled yourself – "_

_STOP! STOP IT! _

"_You're weak!"_

"_Orihime is DEAD because of you!"_

"_I am DEAD because of you!"_

Rukia paled and looked like she would throw up.

"Rukia?" Renji asked. "What's wrong? Are you ok?"

"I'm ok! Stop! Just stop hovering! I can take care of myself!" She yelled. Rukia bolted for the door and left the shop.

Pity. That's what she saw in everyone's eyes when they looked at her. Even Ichigo. She was thankful, oh so thankful they were all alive, but…

She came to the park and sat down on one of the swings.

She didn't want their pity. She didn't need their pity. It disgusted her.

"Hey," Ichigo said as he came up behind her. He didn't want to scare her. He wasn't surprised she didn't answer and took the swing next to hers.

"Why are you here, Ichigo?" Rukia asked in a cold voice.

"I'm here because you need someone." He reached out and pulled on her swing, making her face him, "Rukia…" Her eyes were dark.

"Take your pity and go back to your girlfriend. I don't need it or you." She said as she stood up and walked towards one of her favorite climbing trees.

A bit stunned, Ichigo didn't buy it. "Rukia – "

"…"

"Don't shut everyone out. Don't shut me out."

Rukia stood in front of the tree and closed her eyes for a minute. It would be so easy to give in and let it all go. She shook her head. "You wouldn't understand."

"Then TELL me so I can!" He said with a little desperation in his voice.

"What difference will it make?" She turned so he could see the fire in her eyes, her voice cold. "Nothing makes a difference. I defeated Zanko and I am still looked at like something that needs to be protected. Did you hear yourselves in there? Nothing I do will EVER make a difference!"

"That's not true!"

"Tell me it isn't!" Rukia screamed at him. "Tell me everyone didn't have that look of pity on their faces, especially you!" Her sentence broke at the end as she sobbed. "Tell me I'm nothing more than some pathetic being who needs to be locked up and protected! Tell me!" Maybe she wasn't as strong as she wanted to be. Maybe she should just go back and let everyone take care of her like she was useless. Defeated, she sighed.

"You've made more of a difference then you will ever know. Especially to me," he said quietly. The last part was barely a whisper. Rukia looked at him. "Rukia... You're the strongest woman I know."

"Pfft…"

"Seriously, no one in the world can kick my ass like you can."

Rukia looked at him as he closed his eyes and took her hand. "Rukia, we will always want to protect those we love. Me, Renji, Byakuya, even Toshiro…We all care about you, Rukia. We know you can kick ass, we know you can take care of yourself, but…" he sighed, frustrated. "We don't…we have a…I have a hard time with you being in danger. I can't…we would just rather you complain about us protecting you and seeing you safe than the alternative."

Rukia looked at him.

"These past months have been hell on us all. We couldn't do anything. Toshiro figured out he was after you because of the information the Espada downloaded before he took you and left Soul Society. It wasn't until they found Kurotsuchi that Toshiro figured out why he went after you specifically. But then as more time passed…"

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><p>Ichigo had just finished work for the day and decided to stop by Urahara's for his daily check in. Ever since it was discovered Rukia was taken, Ichigo had been out looking for her. He helped with the search in Soul Society, but since the discovery of the missing gigai's, he concentrated his search in the living world.<p>

His new relationship with Inoue changed dramatically. When Renji came to him and told him what they knew, his world started to fall apart. Rukia was all he could think about. Knowing she was out there being held against her will by an Espada seeking revenge… He never felt so helpless and so lost in his life. Not since his mother died.

Inoue tried to console him as best as she could; tried to fill the void that was quickly expanding in his heart. In the end, it was useless. She knew he would always put Rukia above all. She knew, even if he wouldn't admit it, he loved Rukia far more than he would ever, could ever, love her.

Ichigo walked into the shop, maps of the local area were pinned to the back wall, and other maps of Japan were laid out on the floor in front. It was their search material. Kisuke and Inoue were whispering.

"What section are we going to cover this evening?" Ichigo asked as he made his way to the back of the shop. Kisuke turned and sighed. They had been searching non-stop since she went missing with nothing to go on.

"Kurosaki-kun…" he started, his tone somber. "It's been three months and there has been no sign of her…"

"Well, maybe tonight is the night we find her." He replied. Kisuke closed his eyes and turned away.

"There is news from Soul Society," he began.

"Did they find her? Do they know where she is?" Ichigo asked impatiently. Inoue walked over to him and put her arm around him.

"No. In fact, they've decided to stop the search."

"What?"

"It's been three months, Ichigo," Inoue said, "There's no trace of her anywhere. Surely by now…"

Ichigo shrugged her arm off of him and stepped back. He looked at her as he narrowed his eyes. "Surely by now, what? She's gone?" He tightened his hands into fists. "So that's it? They give up and we're supposed to follow suit?"

Kisuke remained standing, his back to them.

"No! NO!" Ichigo yelled. "She's out there! That bastard has her and is doing god knows what to her and all of her friends abandon her?"

"What are we supposed to do?" Inoue asks softly.

"We're supposed to keep looking for her!"

"Where? How? We've tried to exploit your bond with her and have gotten nowhere. Maybe there is a reason for that." Kisuke said.

Ichigo narrowed his eyes and put his fist through the counter.

"I will not accept that! She's out there, I know she is!"

Kisuke closed his eyes.

"Kurosaki-kun…"

"I'll send Jinta and the others out to section 5. I'll take 4. If you want to take 6 this weekend…" He turned around, "We'll spread out from there if we don't find her."

Ichigo released the breath he didn't know he was holding. "Thank you." Kisuke held his hand up.

"I'll help you for a little longer. No more than a month's time."

* * *

><p>"Then, out of nowhere a month later, I sensed your reiatsu…It was so far away … And when we found you… and figured out everything he had done…" Ichigo couldn't finish. He let go of her hand and walked back to the swing and sat down. His hand tightened into a fist as he stared at the ground.<p>

Several minutes went by.

"It was hell," she whispered. Ichigo looked up and watched as she sat on the swing next to him. "I…I thought he killed everyone." She wrapped her arms around herself. Her eyes dulled as she remembered. "He killed Renji. He killed Rangiku-san, Hitsugaya-taicho…" She squeezed her eyes shut. "He…he k-killed n-n-nii-sama," she said as her voice dropped. "It was my fault."

Ichigo's eyes were wide, "NO!" He yelled out as he knelt in front of her swing. "Don't you believe that!"

"If I had listened and submitted to him sooner…" she shook her head. Ichigo felt like he would throw up at those words. The idea of her submitting to anyone in that way…

"He only had their gigai's. He only – "

"I didn't know that!" Her breath was hard and heavy as she tried to control the tears that were filling her eyes. "He…he killed nii-sama in front of me. He said he had others. He said he had…you." She looked at him. Violet on amber. Rukia held her breath as she looked into his eyes.

_Is his life more important than yours?_

"Rukia…"

"I gave up, Ichigo. I gave up and I gave in."

"No – "

Rukia stood and pushed him aside as a tear fell from her eye. She quickly brushed it away.

"I…I wasn't strong enough," she admitted as she slumped her head down. "When he insinuated that he had captured you... I couldn't let him do to you what he did to the others."

Ichigo stood behind her, eyes wide in shock.

"At that point I stopped fighting, I stopped resisting and I gave in." She closed her eyes. She wasn't sure why she was telling him this. Maybe it was to clear her soul. She was tired…tired of all of the burdens she carried around. "I let him do what he wanted."

Ichigo cringed.

"It didn't matter anymore. I couldn't do anything for the others, but I could keep the rest safe. I could keep you…safe."

"What happened?"

Rukia laughed. It was slightly maniacal, slightly sad. "He told me he killed Inoue and that you blamed me for it. That…that you hated me. He said those were your last words and you died blaming me." She turned and looked at him. "It wasn't until I had nothing left; it took him taking everyone and everything I had ever cared about…had ever…loved before I was strong enough to kill him. And even then…" Rukia looked at him before turning away again. "I was useless," she barely whispered.

They were silent for a long time.

"No." Ichigo said. Rukia didn't turn. "You weren't useless. You were protecting those you believed to be alive."

Rukia looked at him.

"You _are_ strong, Rukia. You did what you thought you had to do to protect everyone," he gently put his hand on the side of her face, forcing her to make and keep eye contact with him, "And I would never, EVER blame you or hate you for anything, Rukia. That's something I swear on my soul."

She looked at him and gave a small smile. How she wanted to believe. He saw the doubt and frowned. He sighed in frustration as his eyes darkened. "That bastard… He filled your head with lies. He tried to break our bond." His hands curled into fists. He took a deep breath and looked at her. "I don't care how long it takes, I don't care what it is I have to do…I will do anything and everything in my power to help you in any way I can. Just don't…don't push me away." He dropped his hand. In some ways she was broken, in others she was stronger. He would help her put the broken pieces back together. He would help her stay strong.

She shook her head and turned away. "We should get back. I'm sure Inoue is worried about you."

"Inoue is worried about a lot of things, Rukia. I'm not so much one of them anymore."

Rukia didn't comment. She glanced over at him and saw that he had his hand outstretched to her. She took a deep breath and put her small hand in his. Together, they walked back to the shop.

~FIN~


	11. Alternate Ending

**AN: There were actually two endings written for this story. The other one and this one. This is the one I started with and had mostly written back when I decided to make Survival a Halloween special... I changed it up a bit because I really didn't like the whole IchiHime thing and ended up giving it a basis for something positive to happen in Rukia's life. This one...well... not so much... I probably should have left it alone with this one. **

**GoranR, this is the one I was talking about... **

**See you all soon on Dreamscape and Alaska and again, thank you for your reviews, your alerts, your following my work... I appreciate you all!  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Survival Ending Alt<p>

"Kuchiki-san!" Kisuke shouted from across the now open door.

Rukia didn't hear. She kept stabbing Zanko over and over as she screamed.

Kisuke came up behind her and grabbed her wrist with the knife, preventing her from accidentally stabbing him. He looked at her. She was cut up, covered in bruises and blood.

_What the hell happened?_ He asked himself.

Rukia stopped moving and turned her head. Kisuke followed her gaze to the front door. Ichigo came running in just as Rukia collapsed in Kisuke's arms.

"I'm sorry…I couldn't…save you…Ichigo…" she whispered before she passed out.

* * *

><p>The yellow light faded as Inoue stood. She looked at the others in the room and gave a small nod. "She…she's been through... She was… He…"<p>

"It's ok, Inoue-san." Kisuke said. They all had a general idea of the kind of torture Zanko put her through just by looking at her. He didn't want to hear the despicable words, especially from an innocent like Inoue.

"I...I can't get her to wake up," she said sadly.

"I'm sure her mind needs to rest. Thank you for everything you've done," he said as he stood by the door and looked at them both.

"What?" Ichigo said. "You expect us to leave?"

"Yes."

"I'm not leaving her!" Ichigo insisted. Inoue gave him a sad look.

"She's going to need time to adjust when she wakes up. If she sees you or anyone else before she's ready, it could seriously damage her mental stability!" Kisuke said firmly.

"All the more reason she'll need us. We need to be here," Ichigo insisted.

Kisuke shook his head. "Kurosaki-san…I'll call you when she wakes up."

"But…"

Kisuke looked at Inoue for some help. At least she had a clue.

"Come on, Kurosaki-kun. There's no telling how long Kuchiki-san will be sleeping and I'm sure you'll be the first one he tells when she wakes up, right?"

"Scouts honor," Kisuke said.

Reluctantly, Ichigo left with Inoue on his arm. Kisuke sighed.

* * *

><p>A week later Rukia opened her eyes as her memories came rushing back. She sat up with a gasp and frantically looked around. She grabbed the sheet she was under and held it to her chest as she backed herself into the corner of the room.<p>

Slowly, her eyes began to focus. The room was different. She looked at her wrist and ankle. They were healed. She blinked. The door opposite from where she was curled up opened. Rukia held her breath.

"It's ok, Kuchiki-san," Kisuke said as he entered the room. "It's all over now."

Rukia looked at him but didn't say anything.

Over.

It was over. Zanko was dead.

"Rukia!"

Rukia's eyes widened.

"Rukia!" Renji called out as he ran past Kisuke. He didn't notice her flinch as he put his hands on her shoulders. "Are you ok? I'm so glad we finally found you and – "

"What part of 'I go first and talk to her' did you not understand?" Kisuke said angrily. Renji blushed.

"Y-you! H-How are you alive?" Her eyes wide, she backed further into the corner. Breathing rapidly, she felt very light headed. Renji gave her a puzzled look. Kisuke frowned at Renji. This was not how he wanted to explain things to the poor girl.

"What you saw at the house was Abarai's gigai, Kuchiki-san," Kisuke offered.

"Gi..gai," she whispered.

"Yes. Castigador Zankokuna did not kill Renji. Do you understand, Kuchiki-san?"

Renji backed up, giving her room. Rukia stood up and looked at Renji.

"So he…he wasn't…"

"He wasn't killed, no. None of them were. "

"None?" The room started to spin and she regretted standing. Renji moved to stand next to her, in case she fainted. She looked at him and tried to focus. Everyone was…alive? She managed to put the palm of her hand against Renji's face. It was warm. He felt alive. She had to be dreaming. Zanko was doing something to her… Maybe the smoke from the fire was making her delusional...

"They were all gigai's." Toshiro said as he came into the room. Rukia looked at him, confused.

"Hitsugaya-taicho!" Rukia exclaimed. He walked into the room and ignored Kisuke as he glared at him.

"Wh-what about Nii-sama?"

"He's fine," Kisuke said.

"He's on a mission at the moment but will be here in a few days," Toshiro said.

"H-how?"

"I don't think right now – "

"Tell me!" Rukia pleaded. She looked from Renji to Kisuke to Toshiro. "Please…"

Renji gave her a sad look.

"The morning after the party two discoveries were made. The first one came when Nemu came to my office and told me one of Kurotsuchi's experiments got out the previous night. He went out to retrieve it but had not returned. Since I was the only one still sober, she felt I could help." Toshiro said. Rukia seemed to look through him as things started to click in her mind.

"Kurotsuchi-taicho…created…Zanko…" She whispered. Toshiro closed his eyes.

"Apparently while you were all still in Hueco Mundo, Kurotsuchi had the opportunity to create him somehow." Kisuke said.

"It must have been after he defeated Szayel!" Renji yelled. "He found his underground lab. While we went to help the others, he stayed behind."

"According to Nemu, he found a fragment of a simulated Hogyoku. He captured a hollow and brought it back to his lab. Once Aizen was defeated, he created his own Espada." Toshiro continued.

Rukia searched her memory. "He said he broke out and used some sort of technology?"

"He used one of the memory machines the division has and downloaded information about you into his head. He quickly overpowered everyone in the building. He drained their memories using the same machine. Kurotsuchi was found later that afternoon in the Kuchiki manor. That's when we discovered you were missing."

Rukia started to shake as a chill went through her.

"We've been searching since."

"H-how long was I…?"

"Almost four months," Toshiro replied.

"It wasn't until Renji decided to search the living world for you that we discovered all of the gigai's stored here were stolen. With you being in one yourself and your reiatsu being suppressed, it's not surprising you couldn't tell the difference. Because of that, we had no idea where to look for you."

"They're all…"

"Alive and ok."

She looked at Kisuke as if she still didn't quite believe him. She quickly grew uncomfortable as all eyes were on her. She glanced at Renji, Toshiro, Kisuke before looking at the floor.

_What did you expect? _

Rukia jumped as the bell to the shop rang out. Inoue and Ichigo entered the shop.

"Oi!" Ichigo hollered as they entered the back room. Their eyes grew as they saw Rukia standing in the corner, holding onto a sheet with Renji next to her.

"Kuchiki-san! You're awake, are you ok?" Inoue asked.

"Rukia…"

Rukia stared blankly at the two.

_Lovers. They would be lovers by now, wouldn't they?_

"Orihime-san, you healed her physically but I'm afraid she will have a long way to go before she heals herself mentally from everything that's happened," Kisuke said. He turned to Rukia, "It was decided that you would remain here until we could explain everything that happened that way you wouldn't be so shocked waking up in the Kuchiki manor. Now that you're awake, when your brother gets back he'll come and take you to his mansion where he will look after you."

Rukia still stared.

_Look at the little whore with pity. They pity you, you know. They don't think you're strong at all. You're weak and pathetic._

"And I'll do everything I can to help you," Renji added. "I'm not going to let you out of my sight."

_Always needing someone to take care of you…_

She closed her eyes to shut out that small voice.

"Are you ok?" Inoue asked.

"Are you alright?" Ichigo asked.

Random images from her nightmare experience came rushing through her mind. She paled and looked like she would throw up.

"Rukia?" Renji asked. "What's wrong? Are you ok?"

"I'm ok! Stop! Just stop hovering! I can take care of myself!" She yelled. Her eyes darted around the room wildly.

"Ok, I think everyone needs to leave… Now." Kisuke said as he ushered every one out of the room.

"Hey!" Renji said as he was physically shoved. He glanced over his shoulders and watched as Rukia sank to her knees, her eyes closed. "We need to be here for her!" He said.

"And you will be, but not now."

* * *

><p>"<em>YOU did this to me! This is all your fault! He killed her because of YOU! I HATE YOU!"<em>

"_You're not good enough! You were NEVER good enough!"_

_That's not true! I can handle myself!_

"_Yeah, like you handled yourself into execution? Like you handled yourself with the Bounts? Like you handled yourself – "_

_STOP! STOP IT! _

"_You're weak!"_

"_Orihime is DEAD because of you!"_

"_I am DEAD because of you!"_

No…not dead. Not dead. Not my fault.

"_Nothing is ever your fault, is it? Kaien wasn't your fault, Ashido wasn't your fault, Byakuya wasn't your fault"_

STOP IT! Just stop, please!

"_Is the great Kuchiki Rukia begging? Beg like the bitch you are."_

* * *

><p>Rukia awoke, covered in sweat, her heart pounding. Zanko was dead. He was dead. She sat up and slowed her breathing down. It was dark and quiet.<p>

She gasped as she heard the door slide open.

"Hey…" Ichigo said softly as he sat down next to the futon. "It's only me."

"Get out," she said, not looking.

"Rukia…"

"Why are you here, Ichigo?" Rukia asked in a cold voice.

"I'm here because you need someone." He reached out and touched her hand. Rukia flinched and drew away. She tucked her hands under her knees as she drew them to her chest.

"Take your pity and go back to your girlfriend. I don't need it or you." She said as she turned her head.

"Don't shut everyone out. Don't shut me out. Not when you need us."

It would be so easy to give in and let it all go. She shook her head. "You wouldn't understand."

"Then TELL me so I can!" He said with a little desperation in his voice.

"No."

Ichigo sighed and sat back. He looked at the door and wondered how long he had before the others figured out he was in here.

"_I HATE YOU!"_

Rukia jumped.

"Rukia?" Ichigo asked.

"It was hell," she whispered. Ichigo looked at her. As his eyes adjusted to the little moon light, he could make out her sad expression. "I…I thought he killed everyone." She wrapped her arms around herself. Her eyes dulled as she remembered. "He killed Renji. He killed Rangiku-san, Hitsugaya-taicho…" She squeezed her eyes shut. "He…he k-killed n-n-nii-sama," she said as her voice dropped. "It was my fault. If I had listened and submitted to him sooner…" she shook her head. Ichigo felt like he would throw up at those words. The idea of her submitting to anyone in that way…

"He only had their gigai's. It wasn't real. He only – "

"I didn't know that!" Her breath was hard and heavy as she tried to control the tears that were filling her eyes. "He…he killed nii-sama in front of me. He said he had others. He said he had…you." She looked at him. Violet on amber. Rukia held her breath as she looked into his eyes.

_Is his life more important than yours?_

"Rukia…"

"I gave up, Ichigo. I gave up and I gave in."

"No – "

Rukia turned away as a tear fell from her eye. She quickly brushed it away.

"I…I wasn't strong enough," she admitted as she slumped her head down.

Ichigo eyes widened in shock.

"I stopped fighting, I stopped resisting and I gave in." She closed her eyes. She wasn't sure why she was telling him this. Maybe it was to clear her soul. She was tired…tired of all of the burdens she carried around. "I let him do what he wanted."

Ichigo cringed.

"It didn't matter anymore. I couldn't do anything for the others, but I thought, maybe I could keep the rest safe. I could keep you…safe."

"What happened?"

Rukia laughed. It was slightly maniacal, slightly sad. "He told me he killed Inoue and that you blamed me for it. That…that you hated me. He said those were your last words and you died blaming me." She turned and looked at him. "It wasn't until I had nothing left; it took him taking everyone and everything I had ever cared about…had ever…loved before I was strong enough to kill him. And even then…" Rukia looked at him before turning away again. "I was useless," she barely whispered.

They were silent for a long time.

"No." Ichigo said. Rukia didn't turn. "You weren't useless. You were protecting those you believed to be alive."

Rukia looked at him.

"You did what you thought you had to do to protect everyone," he gently put his hand on the side of her face, forcing her to make and keep eye contact with him, "And I would never, EVER blame you or hate you for anything, Rukia."

"Kurosaki-kun?" Inoue called out as she opened the door. Ichigo withdrew his hand and turned.

"Inoue…"

"I, um, thought you might want to walk me home now."

"Sure thing, Inoue," he said as stood up. "Think about what I said, ok?" Ichigo said as he turned back to Rukia. She gave a small smile and dipped her head to acknowledge Inoue before she turned away to lie back down.

She heard the door shut, then the whispers.

"What was that about?" Inoue asked.

"It's like we thought, the Espada messed with her head. Her recovery will probably take a long time."

"Her brother will take care of her though, and Abarai-kun."

"Yeah, I hear they're coming for her tomorrow. Come on…"

As their voices faded, Rukia wiped the tear from her eye.

_Are they better than Zanko? … They're all going to hold you back, hold you down while they hold your hand._

"No…" she whispered into the dark.

_What can you do? They're coming for you… And you will submit like you always do...  
><em>

"I will not go with them."

_Hahaha! Do you think they will give you the choice? Do you think anything you to do or say makes a difference?_

"I…I will show them." She said as she stood. She looked in the corner, Sode no Shirayuki was sitting in a sword rack. She gleamed in the moonlight. "I will show them all how strong I am." She said as she picked up her Zanpaktou. The weight in her hands was comforting and much better than the sliver of mirror she had against Zanko.

She opened the door and found Inoue and Ichigo at the front of the shop. Rukia's lips turned into a small smile as she stabbed the ground four times.

"Oi, Ichigo!" She called out as she brought up her sword, "Some no mai, Hakuren!"

~FIN~


End file.
